And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
