you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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