i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Randomize
