She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize
