You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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