Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I look better un-naked...
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
