Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
