I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
