turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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