Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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