Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
