margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
