Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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