Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
