he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
MIDGETS
????
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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