She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
