we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
and you fell through a lawn chair
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
