my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
