Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Sorry about my life...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
