he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
