Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
