Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
