I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I woke up under a house in Key West
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
