im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
