It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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