i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
the raccoons are back...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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