last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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