Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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