Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
