i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
