He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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