ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
