she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Randomize