Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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