She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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