I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
he just fucked me for my cheese.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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