My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
