tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
