You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
