Who wears a wallet chain?!
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
