i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I could fuck to npr.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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