Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
