This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
