Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize