Kiss
Puke
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
