I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
