Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
