no, he came in my armpit
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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