I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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