so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
