**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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