her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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