You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize