Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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