Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
