He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize