Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
as a side note pls kill me
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize