I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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