their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I understand Curling. That high.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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