JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
