Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Randomize
