Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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