I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I looked at my own cervix.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize